REVIEW: I Am Not Starfire

I Haven’t Read Something This Bad Since ‘My Immortal.’

Somewhere on the depths of the internet is a Harry Potter Fan-fiction called My Immortal so infamously bad it’s become the poster child for poorly written self insert stories; I Am Not Starfire is that given a budget and backing by DC Comics. Sometimes I feel like we’re living in Bizarro World when I see poor quality content like this pushed out and genuinely great ideas from talented creatives go ignored, but we are living in strange times, dear reader. I Am Not Starfire is a coming of age story of Mandy Anders, the subhuman gremlin spawn of Starfire, and I’m guessing Dick Grayson. This book goes for about one hundred pages before any significant plot developments happen, committing two cardinal sins of writing by leaving the reader bored and by making us follow a completely unlikable protagonist.

Mandy lacks the charm of her contemporary counterparts like Miles Morales (The New Spider-Man), who has been handled with such care by amazing talent recently demonstrated in the beloved blockbuster Into The Spider-Verse and the smash hit PlayStation Game Spider-Man: Miles Morales. Mandy whines, bitches, and throws a tantrum through over a hundred pages until the story’s villain makes her appearance. She resents her mother for being a famous hero because people only tend to see her as Starfire’s kid; This could have been an exciting concept if the writer exercised more restraint and subtly but since they couldn’t be bothered to either; this book is bad, and I almost fell asleep reading it twice; thankfully I had some powerful coffee to help me power on through. The high school drama mixed with Mandy’s rude outbursts to everybody she knows is just yawn-inducing.

Starfire Is A Better Role model For Young Women.

The book carries weak and basic undertones of rebellion shown in Mandy’s goth attire and her best friend labelling himself an anarchist. In stark contrast to Mandy’s, and I hesitate to call it rebellion, is her mother, the free-spirited Space-Viking and beating heart of The Teen Titans. The book does everything possible to demonize Starfire for being traditionally feminine whilst being a powerful female role model. The book goes out of the way to dress Starfire skimpier than usual, and in one scene in which she’s dressed like a housewife from the fifties frilly apron, high heels and all, they make a point to cut her head out of the shot, and it goes from Starfire in a cute outfit to objectifying her in contrast to her “cool” daughter. I can firmly say this writer does not understand Starfire or what fans love about her.

As an adult who is knowledgeable about comic books, heroes and has enjoyed working with many talented and creative women, I can firmly say this book is not something I would want my niece or theoretical daughter reading when they reached their teenage years. To sum it a long and drawn out story, Mandy has expressed no desire to be a hero at any point in her life, and when she gets her powers, she defeats Blackfire despite never having been in a fight in her life. Any suspension of disbelief I had gone out the window when the girl who never had any training beat a Tamaranian tyrant who has decades of combat experience under her belt. Starfire, the optimistic, joyous immigrant from the stars my wife grew up idolizing in the 2003 Teen Titans series, taught us about struggles with racism, compassion, channeling one’s emotions into power. Mandy doesn’t even have the luxury of actual development and growth; she gets her powers, and everything is fixed. If this book is trying to tell young women power is all you need, it’s sending a terrible message.

Invincible Did It Better

If you want a compelling current coming of age story of a teenage hero stuck in the shadow of their successful parent, go check out Invincible streaming on Amazon Prime.

“I Am Not Starfire is the perfect 168-page sleeping pill for those of you with trouble getting shut-eye.”

Final Score 1.5/5 Stars