REVIEW: Web of Spider-Man No.3 (of 5)

I would like to start this off by saying that if you are an adult concierge of graphic novels like myself this W.E.B. of Spider-Man book is not for you. The premise in this third issue is attractive, but the facts once again are laid out as Peter Parker can easily be confused with Peter Pan since he is aged down once more to appeal to a “wider” audience – preferably those with families.

Albuquerque’s art here is a far cry from what I’m used to seeing from him as it is a more juvenile style to fit a juvenile read. This is something I do not understand because why does juvenile have to equate to watered down? Especially if this book is not intended for me and it was intended for a younger audience who stereotypically would be more attracted to the pictures than the actual dialogue. A star artist here like Albuquerque is completely wasted in an attempt to “Disney”-up Marvel’s Mickey Mouse. And some things here aren’t even believable : how are you going to have a team of intellectuals, and expect me to believe that Squirrel Girl is going to be one of those members when she spent the better half of the 2010s in a book that was completely sold off the basis of juvenile humor and PC comedy in an effort to usher in the failed “Marvel NOW” movement?

The plot has these kids traveling to France while Iron Man plays babysitter like this is the Tom Holland Spider-Man films, minus the appearance of a visually captivating female lead that only Zendaya portray. I already feel uncomfortable enough as an adult sitting in those theater seats and watching those films, that torture was only translated and dragged out as I sat in a restaurant and leafed through this childish read.

The rest of the team just underlines the reasoning behind this series : you got Moon Girl, you got a Hulk now in Amadeus Cho, and I assume with Onome that there is even a Wakandian in tow. But it’s just obvious once more that as none of these characters have their own books and they’re only regaled to limited series’ that they are just tokenized characters that have only been pulled on to this team to attract young readers who may identify with them ethnically, but not in any way with their character traits or lack of.
This ploy of trying to sell the brand over the book is so see through, and even though the action sequence of trying to land a plane safely while having no pilot skills is straight out the textbook of your favorite cheesy “Speed”-type franchise film, it plays like a PSA set up for middle school health class viewing – you know the type where you had to get your parents to sign off on to even sit there for the lecture ! And to further drive home the point that this team is no more than second screen characters used in a tokenized basis (if the title didn’t tip you off), every single soliloquy and aside is presented to the reader in the mind of Peter Parker (like anyone would want to be there with all those bad jokes and obsessive guilt ridden thoughts) like this is a damn Harry Potter book and you can see just how selfish Parker really is – not exactly the lesson that anyone would want to teach their child. At least I would assume so, given the fact that I have not and do not plan on siring any progeny.

So, to have to sit through this book and to be forced to think like a parent would, really did not sit well with me. A great book is able to suspend time and carry a message to anyone no matter their age, ethnicity, or prevailing culture. W.E.B. of Spider-Man makes such a direct attempt at marketing the Marvel brand when Marvel should be focused on marketing good stories that could sell themselves. I have no doubt that this one was not flying off the shelves.

SCORE: 1/5

-@C33VictoryRulez
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(W) Kevin Shinick (A) Alberto Jimenez Alburquerque (CA) Gurihiru