Pimping the Long Box #9
Greetings my Comic Crusaders Family,
I hope you’re well and safe, I am doing great. I can’t believe it is May already… As always, remember we don’t need sight to have a vision. It is not what happens to you but what you do about it. Let’s kick asa dn take names. This is America. In America the streets are paved with gold. Go chase your dreams and make them a reality. It’s time to get paid, laid and make the money. That’s the American way. Now, let’s see what’s shaking in the world of comic books and pop culture, shall we?
- Venom Let there Be Carnage
Just saw the traiser to Venom Let There Be Carnage. I loved it. Tom Hardy as Eddie Brock is just funny. Woody Harelson is going to steal the show as Carnage. Wow Woody has come a long way since his days on cheers and the movie Wildcats. Woody’s performance as Cletus reminds me of his natural born killer role. Shrek looks great, but I am a teenager of the 1990s and the Spiderman villain of my time was Venom then Carnage. When I could see, I played the shit out of Maximum Carnage on Sega Genesis in the 1990s animated series. The Fox kids version was the bomb. You can get all the Venom episodes on DVD. Spiderman the Alien costume Saga is out of print and the DVD goes for $20 and up but to have all the episodes on a DVD is amazing. There are a few Venom and Carnage books worth the hunt, especially Maximum Carnage collectables. The video game Sealed MIP goes for upwards of five thousand dollars… that is, the Super Nintendo version/ Toy Biz did Maximum Carnage figures, the ones to buy are the ten inch Carnage (that is what the ladies call my dick). But all kidding side, this is a tough figure. Not as tough as the Spiderman, Venom and Carnage three pack or the two packs with Spiderman with either Venom or Carnage. The 1991 talking Venom figure is worth the hunt. The one that said “I want to eat your brain, Spiderman.”… It is at least $20-$50. Comics such as Amazing Spiderman #359 last page has the cover to #361. Books like Amazing Spiderman #344-347 iconic coverst first Cladus Casedy appearances and Classic Venom Vs. Spiderman battles books like Amazing Spiderman #332-333. The long tongue version we know and love is in these books. Comics like Kid in Play #9, New Avengers #1, first series books like Amazing heroes #131, even trading cards like the Spiderman vs Venom 3-d card are worth the hunt. So go hunting today.
2. Addressing the Amazing Spider-Man #601 J Scott Cambell.
Ok I need to know. What kind of world do I live in where a piece of art like this gets body shamed and slut shamed? I swear to god the people that blasted this vintage J Scott Cambell cover have never seen a dick or a pussy and are everything wrong with the world today. You are either over or underweight, have been made fun of a lot, both by family and peers, you have free time up your twats and assholes have both the best invention and the worst weapon of all time. That is a computer by the way. And you have keyboard courage and want the world to cater to their wants and needs. So fucking what? This cover shows Mary Jane Watson’s tits. Mary Jane has great tits. Do you know there is a bird called great tits? But are people afraid of tits??? Especially sexy girls that are super models? Yes, Mary Jane Watson is or was a supermodel and an actress in the comics. Yes, remember before Bryan Bendis made her an office girl in Invincible Iron Man 2015 series $4? But this cover is great. It shows her sitting, showing her ass. That heart shaped ass…. Wow. Peter Parker loves Mary Jane’s glory hole. Don’t believe the Comic Pimp? Then go check out classic issues of Spiderman like Spiderman 1990 series #s12 and 13. Wow Peter and MJ are into some fetish and kinky shit. Using the webs and taking nude pictures of MJ are t and story by the Todd Father Todd Mcfaline. Don’t blame J. Scott Camblee, don’t blame comic books, don’t blame Hollywood… This is a real look and girls can do the poses and positions. Have any of you fucking keyboard warriors seen a lick of porn? Have you ever been to a strip club? Of course not. As that is too much work… you would rather bitch and moan and tell me what a comic book should look like instead of making a comic book of your own or trying to get a girlfriend or even hire a hooker to get laid. And to all the young girls of America: there is nothing wrong or shameful in being a slut or a whore. If your tits (AKA breasts) are big, then use that. Don’t you realize how much power you have by having big tits? Men are stupid. Remember this if you’re a young sexy piece of ass, the world is your. Just show a guy or a girl whatever your sexual preference is and show them a nice pair of tits, a sexy and beautiful ass and a great looking pussy and guys are like puppets. They’ll do whatever you want. Use that do do it Dr. Dooms style. Conquer the world, one blow job or hand job at a time. Stop being sad that you’re a slut or a whore and turn that into power as the power is yours to be a slut.
3. The top three shows to binge this week are….
- Jupiter’s Legacy, Mark Miller’s Netflix show is the best thing going today. Not spoiling it. Just go watch it and pick up the Larry Comics Phantom variant to issue #1, that is all.
- Star Wars the Bad Batch for a cartoon. This is amazing, that is all. Omeba is my favorite and Hunter is my favorite
- Solar Opposites, just loving the show about aliens trying to make it on Earth. Just funny as hell. June 20th Rick and Morty season five drops and I can’t wait for some Loki in June. Happy watching.
- If the Venom Let there Be Carnage trailer got you excited for all things Venom, then go to Porn Hub and search for Vencum. Vencum is a Wood Rocket Productions movie. It makes fun of the first five Venom movie stars. April Oneil, Tommy Pistol and others. If you want to see the Lethal Protector fuck, then go to Porn Hub and check it out on Pornhub. Thanks Leeroy Myers for this amazing movie.
- The best three strip clubs to go to in NYC are…
- Flashdancers
- Scores
- Sapphire
Flashdancers is on 52nd street. Scores is on W28th between 10th and 11th Ave. and Sapphires is on E 60th between 10th and 11th ave. Remember to tip your girls as the girls work on tips and tips along. Coming in in the future will be the sexiest cosplay party in all of NYC and the mother fucking world. That’s right, the Awesomesauce XXX Cosplay orgy of doom is coming soon. Waiting for 2022 for things to come back to normal then I am taking over the world and starting the greatest comic book and whorehouse NYC has ever seen #testify.
A few ending tid bits:
- Here are six comic book and collectable tidbits to make some money with:
- Amazing Spiderman Venom in 3D and Spiderman Family #1 are cheap reprints of Amazing Spiderman #300. Both can be flipped on Ebay or put on walls at shows or in shops. You’re talking like, #20 and can be turned into, say, #40 by the time Venom Let there Be Carnage comes out.
- World’s Finest #257 erd appearance of Black Adam. This is after Superman Vs. Shazam. If you can smell what Black Adam is cooking, then pick up all of his early appearances now. He also appears in DC comics Presents #47 as well as World’s Finest s#264 and 267 which are mad cheap. Around $5-20.
- Secret Wars black costume Spiderman. This is the first Venom action figure. It came out in 19686. The first Venom figure proper is from the Marvel Super Heroes line in 1991. These figures are tough to find. Especially mint on cards.
- Wizard the Guide to Comics #18 Spiderman Venom Carnage cover that is all #10 and up
- Rolling Stone Magazine s #400 Slave Leia cover. This came out in May of 1983 and is a sweet Slave Leia cover. That is all.
- Power Puff Girls #70 final low printed issue of the original DC run of comics. Who really wants a live action Power Puff Girls show> If you like, I can make a Power Puff girls porn movie that would be three times better than whatever the VW is going to make… But anyways, this is a #10-40 books all day long.
Well, It is time to go. I love you all. Remember to use the force and keep those pimp hands strong. Remember to not get high on your own supply and wash those hands. Wear those masks. You don’t need sight to have a vision. If no one has said they love you today, then I, the ComicPimp, log you. You are important. If you need help, go seek it. You can message me too.
Until next time, go get paid, laid and bade because that is the American Way!
Author Profile
Latest entries
ColumnsApril 23, 2023The Return of Pimping The Longbox
ColumnsSeptember 23, 2022PIMPING THE LONG BOX #15
ColumnsSeptember 15, 2022PIMPING THE LONG BOX #14
ColumnsSeptember 12, 2022PIMPING THE LONG BOX #13
