WRESTLING REVIEW: Survivor Series XXXVI
In Blue Chip Boston, where an individuals ego can take up the size of entire sidewalks, I braved having my boots stepped and tripped on, the rudest of gestures, brown paper bags ripping, a hotel infested with bed bugs with a neighbor who must have been making love to a lummox and getting screamed on by a train operative that looked like he was related to Adam Sandler all so I can bring this report of 2022’s edition of Survivor Series live from the home of the Celtics – my birthplace’s rival team, so no love lost.
Attendance for the final Big Four PLE of the year was surprisingly lackluster : Tickets were still being sold at the late opening doors, entire sections were not filled, and at one point during the women’s War Games match – the filtered in sound of a fake audience could be heard to sell to worldwide viewers that TD was full house … which was just not the case. As much as I cannot stand Nashville (see my earlier reviews on this years’ Slammiversary and SummerSlam), I have to give credit where credit is due : The East Coast has nothing on the South when it comes down to wrestling fanaticism. Just like if you think New Yorkers are rude, you better not show your face in the cold Bean. Fitting then, that even with the low attendance, those in the WWE offices of Connecticut knew to throw Survivor Series in Boston, because goddamn, a trip through Boston is an act of survival in itself.
Bianca Belair and her team survived though, in their furious face off against Damage Ctrl and their conniving cohorts. Opening the show, was the women’s division in a traditionally branded War Games match. Belair began the festivities squaring off with an eager and evil Dakota Kai. With slick powerbombs, clotheslines, and multiple effortless kip ups, team Damage Ctrl looked like it really needed the advantage that they earned on the previous episode of Smackdown!
Belair had amazing spots early on this first segment, showcasing her strength and stamina. From a standing suplex into a kip up, to powerbombing Kai into the steel cage through the ropes – Belair paced the match early on, but the tide began to turn as the appearance of Io Sky turned this War Games competition into a handicapped match. Though Belair fought her opponents off in an excellent staredown spot where both her foes stood taking control of the opposite rings, the numbers game proved too much as Kai dismantled Belair from the ground with various mini leg sweeps from the corner, while Sky did as her namesake and fired off some missile dropkicks (one which was notably sloppy, due to an impediment of the added set of ropes) which grounded Belair by the time Asuka came out to aid the Raw Women’s Champion. Asuka and Belair were able to hold things down for their team, again delivering an excellent staredown spot between former partners Asuka and Sky.
Missed signature moves from 619’s to in-between the rope Rearview’ s followed, as Asuka eventually connected a Rearview and took the time to suplex Kai leading to the next member of Team Damage CTRL to enter the fray. Cross came in, shedding her superhero gimmick, to add some “inSANITY” to the match and began throwing all sorts of weapons into the arena as the cold Crab city crowd shouted for some plain old tables. Cross said screw that, and came through with singapore canes and trash cans as nasty spots ensued with Belair being choked out by the singapore canes and both members of Team Belair getting walked on like my boots in a Boston building when the natives think that the lights are low enough to let out their shadow selves.
The pre-recorded audience was not needed as Cross hopped off the top of the cage, prompting a “Holy Shit” moment from viewers young and old as Bayley entered the ring and started pulling out ladders and a table much to the simple minded Boston crowd’s amusement. The San Jose native then displayed some interesting offense as she leveraged something of a leapfrog and suplexed Belair. Then came another dangerous spot as Belair was ruthlessly pinned to the corner with a table by all three members of Damage CTRL. A fist from Bayley cracked on Belair’s head and it echoed through the crowd in way to betrayed genuine heat between the two competitors in the cold callus city of Boston.
Belair gave Bayley her receipt minutes before all of Team Belair rallied together to deliver powerbombs to each member off Damage CTRL present in the ring before Rhea Ripley came in with a bang and locked onto Alexa Bliss, who honestly wasn’t doing anything notable since she entered the dual ring. Ripley must have noticed this, because her standing suplex on Bliss upon entry was gorgeous, landing the Ohio representative on the ladders. Sky and Kai worked together in perfect tandem to show off for their stable : either one putting insult to the injuries they inflicted on Team Belair, specifically at this point the newly reintegrated War Games vet Mia Yim. Aside from Belair and Kai, Yim took the most memorable hits here, as four horsewoman member Becky Lynch popped up – the gates finally closed for Michigan’s finest, Alicia Taylor, to belt out that “War Games” had officially begun.
For the record, I’d like to state here that it was completely odd for Lynch to pop up wearing the opposing teams colors. Especially as a face, it was hard to tell as the night progressed if she would be doing a sudden heel turn. But her leg drops were as impressive as Bliss’ hurricanrana’s. At least Creative had the common sense to pit Lynch against Bayley directly after Lynch’s usual old tricks, to give head’s a mini Horsewoman vs. Horsewoman bout. Lynch came out the victor of this exchange. With Bayley dumped to the floor, Ripley squared off with Lynch until she was able to score a Riptide on Lynch going for the pin that Asuka broke up in the nick of time for Team Belair.
Bayley was swinging and missing with the weapons, but when it came to her natural in-ring ability a well placed DDT was all that was needed to put the odds in her team’s favor. Sky did attempted to do her traditional spot from the top of the cage, all the competitors followed and were in the position to be powerbombed by the Raw Women’s Champion, but Nikki Cross was not in the mix.
Why?
Because she was busy getting a singapore cane ready to snap across the waist of Belair, causing some of the competitors to safely dissipate. Cleared, Sky then performed her photo finish moonsault on the remaining competitors who didn’t get out the way of Sky’s blazing path of destruction. Cross and Bliss then ran a mini program, rekindling the old grudge against the former tag champions.
As chaos ensued, and the match began to break down – Bayley smashed a ladder in half using Yim’s spine as a battering ram. With Bliss and Cross occupied and Ripley and Asuka elsewhere, it became a three on two of Damage Ctrl vs. Lynch and Belair to wrap up the story at the tail end of this year’s SummerSlam. Belair and Lynch hit their signatures (The K.O.D. and The Man-Handle Slam respectively), and Lynch, returning from her Summerslam loss hopped on the top of the cage not only out do Sky but to put Kai through a table with Hogan’s signature for “one…two…three”, sealing the third annual Women’s War Games with a decisive win for Team Belair : closing the chapter on any lingering beef between Belair and Bayley, and also fully solidifying Lynch’s new face run. Gold was on the line between two girls from my Golden State as the steel cage raised. Former Olympian Ronda Rousey was to be engaged in a competition for her Smackdown Women’s Title against newly minted face, and War Games veteran, Shotzi Blackheart. SoCal vs. NoCal in a singles match without the fancy stipulations.
Sure “Survivor Series” is not “Extreme Rules” but Creative had painted the Women’s Division into a corner by having things be so crazy with the no DQ stipulation for the opening match, so it only made sense that the next match would plateau. The Boston crowd hated Rousey, but I couldn’t help but cheer on the woman who beat Charlotte and took the title back from Liv while repping the city of one of my high school alma mater’s ! And Blackheart, launched into this PLE through a 6 pack challenge, a chokeout and a thrown together friendship with Raquel Gonzalez it was hard not to root against the fiery Filipina’s first Big 4 PLE appearance. But whereas the Boston crowd was nonplussed with the match, screaming immature comments aimed against “women’s wrestling” and filling the rafter with “We Want Sasha” chants, I was decisive in my support of the girl’s from my home state as they put on a solid performance!
Shotzi tested Ronda at first and was met with several arm drags that was quickly transitioned into an ankle lock. Shotzi, though found a way to power out of Rousey’s signature maneuvers and fired off a cannonball to push the Smackdown Women’s Champion outside. Baszler ate a dive for Rousey as Blackheart continued to bring the fight to the champion. Though much to the challenger’s chagrin, this is exactly what Rousey wanted as she turned the tides, led Blackheart back into the ring, and began toying with her letting off jabs and leg sweeps to the cornered green haired demon. Another ankle lock was broken out of and Rousey responded with yet another submission, the ungrateful Bostonians booed and yelled for Sasha … but last time I checked she was enjoying my city like a person who will never see an inch of Skid Row, so as Rousey tied up Shotzi in the ropes, Baszler missed a kick outside the ring and through the confusion Shotzi was able to dump both Rousey and Baszler over the barricade !
Spilling into the TD crowd, Shotzi hit a crossbody splash and the two titans continued their brawl in Boston eventually making it back to the squared circle. There was a melee and Blackheart ended up on the top rope about to fly, but Rousey tapped into the Speed Force and with inhuman strength dragged Blackheart from the top for the pin. Then it was Piper’s Pit and what appeared to be by sheer luck, a tap out to synched in armbar, for another clean win for the Smackdown Women’s Champion.
Boo’s rained down from the rafters, the family sitting in the back of me was having some spastic fit and was kicking my chair. I asked one of the natives on the side of me if Bank’s would be showing, he said no, and I took that as my cue to head back to telly for the evening.
After my tour of Boston I was not surprised why Sasha Banks would not waste her time in the city she is billed from any longer, I also now do not find the horror stories that her fans have regaled on social media over the years unbelievable, having ran into the narcissistic elitists that riddle Boston’s streets.
For next year’s Survivor Series, WWE might want to throw it over in a region that actually cares about pro-wrestling. Again, I hate Nashville, but when Summerslam season came around there was a bunch of promotional events that ran throughout the week to build up for the PLE while Boston just had a pop-up shop and The Undertaker re-telling some stories for $100 that any member of The Ministry of Darkness has probably already heard on a free podcast. After this press run, I think the Boston Crab move should be renamed and Sasha Banks should go back to Iowa for some etiquette lessons before she’s ever allowed back in a ring, WWE or otherwise.
Boston sucks. Rousey rocks as much as Ozzy on this year’s final Big 4 PLE theme. And to the immature man-children in that TD Garden crowd : I’d rather walk out a hundred times after another solid Women’s War Games match than sit and watch a vignette praising Dusty Rhodes’ man-boobs immortalized in a golden embalmed statue. Big Show laughing at Adam Sandler in the Waterboy never made more sense until the morning after Survivor Series : War Games.
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Score : 4.5/5
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