"WHEN SUPERMAN WAS THE JOCK YOU HATED“ THE SEXY-BEAST SUPERMAN, PART 4

There is something very pure and innocent behind the idea of a girl that literally turns into a butterfly. It is a very optimistic concept, which in itself is like a whispered promise that everything will be fine and beautiful, like a summer of eternal youth which will never come to a close. But a butterfly is a harbinger of change. The multicolored wings of butterflies aren“t so much signs of their happy youth, which they will have spent as rather uninteresting caterpillars, but of a completed metamorphosis and adulthood. In this, these lovely insects take diametrically opposed steps in their development than we humans do. While the caterpillar will morph into something beautiful, we will not simply get older, but lose a lot in the process. Our energy, our attractiveness, and most of all, our dreams of how our lives will be in many years to come. Maybe this was on the mind of writer Otto Binder, when in Superboy No. 124 (1965) he created a heroine alias for the titular hero“s girl friend Lana Lang. At that point in time, Binder had seen many ups and downs in his career. He had started young, as one half of the pulp writing duo that readers knew under the pen name Eando Binder (his brother Earl made up the other half, hence the name). He worked as a literary agent, and when the appetite of readers changed, and they were looking at other gateways to enter into the fictional worlds they had grown accustomed to, he went to a new medium, one in which his brother Jack had found success, first as an artist, and then by establishing and managing his own studio of comic artists. Binder discovered that he loved writing comics, and between 1941 and 1953, he mostly worked for Fawcett Comics, a division of Fawcett Publishing. Binder was incredibly fast, and during this time he wrote 986 of the 1,743 stories for Fawcett“s star character Captain Marvel and his extended family. In 1942, together with artist Marc Swayze, Binder co-created the character Mary Marvel, whom he named after the given name of his mother-in-law and in honor of his mother Marie. When Fawcett Comics, sued by DC/National for their alleged copyright infringement on their Superman character, stopped putting out comic books entirely, which coincided with a generational change at the publisher (the founder“s sons had already diversified the company into other publishing ventures such as cheap paperback books), Binder“s career once again hit a snag. While Binder had been the best paid writer in comics at the height of the Captain Marvel craze (his annual income was in the six figures), he also was wont to spend his funds nearly as fast as he hit the keys on his typewriter. His old friends from his pulp writing days however proved helpful. Mort Weisinger and Julius Schwartz now both worked at the company that had successfully sued his beloved Captain Marvel character out of existence. Still, he needed the work. At DC/National, Binder and artist Al Plastino co-created Superman“s cousin Supergirl, whose adventures Binder would write for years to come while he saw his own daughter become a teen herself. Maybe this was also the place from which the idea came to give Superman“s childhood neighbor something else to do than just constantly trying to prove that Superboy and Clark Kent were the same person. His daughter Mary Lorine Binder was not even thirteen years old when Lana, who was not much older at that time, became “The Insect Queen of Smallville”“. In this tale, with art by George Papp, Lana rode her bicycle outside of Smallville to pick some wild flowers that were in bloom. This was when she discovered an alien creature in the forest. The little, strange looking, almost humanoid being had found himself buried under a tree while in the midst of exploring our world. Innocently, the teenager released the four-armed and two-legged creature from his predicament. Right before the pink alien departed in his flying saucer, he rewarded the red-haired girl“s kindness with a ring which according to him, granted her “biogenetic powers”“. Later at night, when she arose from her sleep due to a loud noise downstairs, and Lana went into the living room at her parents“ house to investigate, instead of reaching for a switch to turn on the lights, she found that the room now illuminated by its own, or more precisely, by a bright light that radiated from her body. This now scarred away the burglar who had invaded their home. But it was not only because he found the room now eerily lit that he gave chase. A strange metamorphosis had taken place. While her head and most of her body still remained human, her derriere was now that of a firefly“s relative to her size. Many years later, such a Kafkaesque transformation would have been a major cause for alarm, but this was The Silver Age of Comics, and in this age, all types of body horrors were not only par for the course, but mostly of a cute variation. Likewise, when on the next day, during a match with her neighbor Clark Kent, in order to retrieve an errand tennis ball from a nearby roof, Lana instinctively turned into a grasshopper girl as her legs extended to ridiculous lengths and she now could simply jump high up into the air. And when she misspelled the word “ecstasy”“ and her mean old teacher charged her with writing the word (spelled correctly) one hundred times on the blackboard, once he“d turned his back on her, she quickly changed into a human-sized centipede, with only her head left as a sign that she was actually a teenage girl. Astonishingly, Lana (and Binder and Papp) pulled all this off in a way that was not horrific to behold, but whimsical and endearing. And with that, the next logical step was of course, that Lana created her own superhero identity. Donning a black and yellow leotard and a domino mask, the girl became The Insect Queen. With one change within the insect families to the next, the teenager even upstaged Superboy. Clearly, The Boy of Steel did not take to this female competition too kindly. But even though she now had a secret identity of her own, Lana still tried to trick Clark Kent into revealing that he secretly was Superboy. And like so many times before, and despite her awesome abilities, he thwarted her most recent scheme as well. In the end, Lana was where she had started out.

Even though, by the end of her first adventure, Lana had professed that she could not come up with a new insect she felt like turning into, and thus she had put the ring and her costume away, she was back as The Insect Queen only three issues later. Not only did she make it on the cover for Superboy No. 127 (1966), but in “The Strange Insect Lives of Lana Lang!”“, Binder and Papp turned their mix of bizarre and fanciful imagination up to eleven. Not only was she back, but she got to enjoy herself a bit more as she effortlessly changed form from one insect into another, and this time she had Bee Boy at her side, who was a teenager a mad doctor had transformed into a half-teenager, half-bee creature in order to save his life and to use the moment to test out a serum he had concocted. And there was something utterly romantic in seeing these happy insect-teenagers taking to the air side by side, even though, unlike Lana, the young teen seemed destined to stay in this form. Superboy promised him that he would be looking for a cure for him, but like with so many one-off characters during this time, he was quickly forgotten, lest his state ever reversed. This was a fate that Lana almost shared in her third adventure. In this story by Binder and artist Curt Swan, Superboy brought her a thousand years into the future to meet his pals The Legion of Super-Heroes. Surely Lana was glad that she had brought her ring with her, and soon, not to feel like an outsider among the colorfully garbed, attractive super-teens, she changed into her super-identity. And thus, in Adventure Comics No. 355 (1967) Lana not only aided the Legion, but she tried to become a member of this exclusive club. But since her powers relied on a ring and didn“t come from a natural source, she was soundly rejected. But then, after Lana had proven herself by helping the Legion against a new bad guy, she was made a reservist of their little gang, regardless. This made the girl very happy, who only a few panels before had lost her ring while her lower torso was that of a moth and on her back, she had transparent wings. But luckily for Lana, disaster was averted, since Light Less managed to discover her ring and Lana was finally able to regain her complete human form once again. The Insect Queen would return, but not like before. When readers next saw Lana use her ring, in Adventure Comics No. 370 (1968), gone were the brightly colored wings of the butterflies and other winged insects she“d turned into earlier, and there were no wide, unlimited, floral landscapes for her to soar above. She now fought the most dangerous enemy of the Legion, namely the evil wizard Mordru, a character writer Jim Shooter had introduced an issue earlier. And while Curt Swan returned as artist, inker Jack Abel“s heavy brush tinged every panel with a nocturnal hue of blackness and utter despair. Her hometown had been invaded and Lana and a few of the other Legionnaires found themselves in chains and other instruments of bondage. But not only her world had turned much darker all of a sudden, the world at large seemed a much more dangerous place. And this was also true on a very personal level. You only needed to ask Otto Binder. Hardly had he written the dialogue for the last panel in his last Insect Queen story between Superboy and an ecstatic Lana, who looked at the certificate which proved that she now kinda belonged to The Legion of Super-Heroes, that the writer of so many imaginative tales got word that his fourteen year old daughter Mary had been killed on her way from school by an older kid with no driver“s license. Mary Binder died on the spot, and not only would her father not write another story about Lana as the Insect Queen, or about Superman“s cousin Supergirl for that matter, Binder eventually left comic books behind altogether. His path, for a while at least, lay in exploring space travel and extraterrestrial beings visiting our planet for semi-factual publications. This man who had seen a meteoric rise at a young age when H.P. Lovecraft had complimented him on one of his pulp tales, to making a fortune in comics, to not only see his financial security slip away, but the life of his daughter, and eventually, the sanity of his wife Ione as well. Had he looked at the story Jim Shooter had placed his creation in, among the darkness, there was something equally frightening. Characters, who Binder had always portrayed as innocent and at their most lyrical and romantic, seemingly forever caught in a youthful, joyful state of optimism, the kind Mary Binder was in right up the moment of her premature death, had begun to age. Evidently Lana and her friends had reached the end of their adolescence. Their bodies were nearly fully developed into adulthood. The magical promise of wish fulfillment each new story had brought, had dissipated into not much more than a fine, elusive mist, like a style of fashion that was no longer relevant. As if Mordru, in defeat even, had placed a curse on these kids, one which seemed like a blessing at first. Even while still in her human form, the next time Lana made an appearance as the Insect Queen, readers could tell that she had gone through a radical transformation. This was nothing she could use her biogenetic powers on, to reverse the effect, though at this point she would not have wanted to even if she could. And this was not a completed process either. The rampant metamorphosis would run its course to its bitter end. Just like that, the eternal summer of the world these characters lived in, had all of sudden and entirely unannounced, given way to a beautiful and equally colorful fall. With it came the promise of first snow.

The Lana Lang who showed up in Superboy No. 205 (1974) to make good use of the alien ring she had been gifted with for her kindness when she was a young teen, was clearly not the girl anymore who had wandered into the woods to pick up wild flowers for her mother, unless this was a very special forest. Courtesy of writer Cary Bates and especially artist Mike Grell, she had become a statuesque, impossibly long-legged glamour model whose new superpower was that she had perfect hair. And with her more adult look, she had found a new agency. She told the boys now: “Shall we go?”“, but this was not meant as a question. And when Legionnaire Ultra Boy, who clearly had not gotten the memo that this was not the Insect Queen from just a few years earlier, voiced concerns about including her on their mission, it was Superboy who let him know that there was no way they could stop her: Â “You don“t know girls, pal! Once they make up their minds, nothing can change them!”“ When she as well fell under the spell of the alien who was telepathically controlling other members of the Legion, Lana was a force to reckon with, and deadly as such. Or so it seemed. Even while she was commanded to kill Ultra Boy, the young heroine figured out a way to circumvent the fatal order Lana had received mentally. Thanks to Bates and Grell, Lana was now a young adult and she acted like one. In a way she seemed more responsible and capable than some of the regular members, Superboy included. But this was only one station on her way, and alas, therefore it would not last. Overall, the progressing of age was not kind to the character in the DC Universe. There were but a lucky few that were exempt from what felt like an illness at best and like a curse at worst. Superman“s Girl Friend Lois Lane was forever twenty-two. Even though in the 1950s she looked older and dressed older, that came at a time when young people wanted to appear older to be taken more seriously in their chosen careers. But as Lois look changed with the times and her hair and her skirts became shorter, she seemed younger than ever. Then there was of course Superman. While he sure put on a little weight in the early 1960s, right at the time when his family expanded and giving him a dad bod seemed appropriate for the stories of those days, he was twenty-nine and this wouldn“t change for the time being. Superman needed to be his best, and the way age was seen, he needed to be at an age that promised peak performance. He of course had the advantage that readers could find different versions of him. There was Superboy, a younger, leaner version with still a lot to learn. And in stories that now and then would be shoved into the pages of Superboy“s own series, there was an even younger version, Superbaby, The Titanic Tot. Superbaby not only had all the powers of Superman, and wore a near identical, infant-sized costume, but since he had the mind of a four-year-old, he was a little menace and very cute at the same time. And though The Insect Queen had made her debut in Superboy No. 124, Superbaby was on the cover, punching out a prize fighter in the ring with ease. And it was also in this series, in issue No. 171 (1971), that readers were introduced to a concept that today is commonly known among fans as a sliding time scale. Since Superboy“s adventures took place earlier in his career, it became increasingly difficult to pin-point the era. Though Superman was allowed to change with the times, and he now worked in television because that was the medium to be in if you were a newsperson, he had to stay young. But Superman had been created in 1938, and Superboy in 1949. Therefore, young Superman“s adventures had to take place sometime in the 1920s. Which they originally did. But as the years passed, Superboy“s world gradually became outdated. Thus, with one editorial decision, creatives broke free from this edict. Gone were the bi-planes, zeppelins, tin lizzies and students who wore shirts and bowties to class. Not only was Superboy“s time moved up to the mid-1950s, but this would continue as time progressed, as explained to readers in an editor“s note: “Superboy remained stuck in a time slot not of his own, so we decided to rescue him! From now on, he“ll tag along behind the eternally 29-year-old Superman”¦ and ”˜stay with it“ as the years roll on! That“s it! Superboy has come of age”¦!”“ While this retcon was very easy to achieve, the hero simply returned from one of his many trips through time to a timeline that was closer to Superman“s time than his former past, earlier in the series, another switch was orchestrated that was also concerned with time. Editorial and readers felt that the Kents were too old when compared to their son“s age. Originally, an old, childless couple who found the craft from the lost world of Krypton with baby Kal-El was no problem. They would die once he had reached his maturity to never be seen again. But when Superboy was created, he was saddled with foster parents who looked as if they were escapees from a home for senior citizens. No teen in the world had parents this old. And to solve this dilemma, DC/National Comics turned to one of their most imaginative writers, Otto Binder.

Long before a new generation of creatives congratulated themselves on how “meta”“ their writing was, with how they were planting all these little hints in their narratives to let readers in on how totally self-aware they were with their smart references to older stories which were a bit silly, really, and definitely in need of a much more sophisticated creator to make them still work in a modern context, Otto Binder taught writers and readers what “meta writ large”“ looked like. With the unusual approach with which he tackled the “age problem”“ of the Kents in Superboy No. 145 (1968), the writer not only invented the plot for “The Truman Show”“, and Reality TV, but he offered a criticism on the creation and consumption of entertainment media that was extremely amusing and utterly scathing while the irony probably did not escape him. Binder himself had been a relatively old father vis-Ã -vis his recently deceased daughter. Further irony lay in the fact that he was about to move the Kents from an age that made them look like they were in their early seventies to an age that was much closer to his age and that of his wife when their daughter was born i.e. Jonathan would now be in his early forties, and Martha in her mid-thirties. And this is how he did it: Having run out of ideas and funds, a TV producer in another dimension simply turns a high-tech viewing device on Superboy and his world and then sells his real-life adventures as his latest creation. Of course, the viewers are nuts about these new superhero blockbusters. And alas, they are very cost-effective for him, too: “Actors, sets, stage hands, cameramen, special effects”¦ who needs them? I save all that money by filming real events!”“ And then, this producer turns to his pretty hanger-on who is in on the scheme: “I“m brilliant! Say I“m brilliant, Mya!”“ And while the young lady in question takes care of her makeup, she lets him have his answer: “I might as well! I have nothing else to do since you no longer need me as a script-girl! Yes, Jolax! You are brilliant!”“ And when the sponsors arrive, they agree. Except, there is one problem. People have voiced their opinion on this dimension“s Twitter: “All the optiviewers say that Jonathan and Martha Kent look too old to have a teen-age son like Superboy!”“ And with this drop of the meta-mic, Binder was off to the races, as the sponsors continued: “But that“s easily remedied! Before we sign a contract, you simply hire new, younger actors to play the roles of Ma and Pa Kent!”“ Since recasting was out of the question, what was the producer to do? Well, Mya had an idea. In this dimension you see, criminals were punished by reverting them back to infancy, so they had the chance to re-start their messed-up lives. Now, Jolax and Mya simply stole a bottle of the serum that caused this and via interdimensional transport, they dropped it into the well water at the Kent“s home. And once they had one sip from the highly diluted youth formula, they were set back. And while Martha now discovered a new love for her hairbrush and her mirror, back in their dimension, Jolax let readers know that this change would be permanent. But how to explain this newly acquired attractiveness and vitality to the neighbors? First, like they were afflicted with a horrible rash, they covered their new faces with a lot of old people makeup. Then they invited a bunch of old folks over. Meanwhile Superboy had discovered that the well water was to blame. And he now created a meteor shower to explain this weird change while the Kents fed these senior citizens the well water. Among a group of people turned young, they would not stick out, lest anyone put two and two together and suspected their connection to the young superhero. Before readers thought that this was something that would last one issue, and soon the Kents would revert to their old selves (as you were), at the end of the story, Clark and his parents broke the fourth wall to let fans know, that this was the new normal going forward. The Kents were to stay young (relatively speaking). And with an expression on his face that made him look like a heel, Pa Kent, with one arm around his much younger wife“s shoulder, winked at readers: “Who“s complaining?”“

Lana wished she would be this lucky, though. Surely, her new older self fit right in with the Legionnaires. While Dave Cockrum had clad the teen heroes in new outfits that spelled disco with a capital D and with as little fabric as possible under the Comics Code, and thigh-high boots for the girls that came with high heels and circular cut-outs, and his immediate successor Mike Grell leaned into this trend in superhero costume design hard, the future did not look too bright for these glamorous futuristic teen adventurers. Once again, teenage writer Jim Shooter was to blame for this peek into a harsh new reality. In Adventure Comics No. 354 and 355 (1967), the latter issue featured Lana“s first adventure as Insect Queen with the team in a second story, Shooter presented readers with a very different Legion of Super-Heroes. In the first issue, Superman returned to the future he had often visited as a boy. But he travelled the same number of years forward and like he had aged, his friends had moved on in years as well. In a way, this was a brand-new future for him. But Superman had an advantage the other heroes did not have. As the most valuable player in this universe of characters he did not age beyond a certain point, or maybe his Kryptonian heritage kept him this young. Jim Shooter immediately creates a foreboding and depressing atmosphere of tempus fugit. It is both, a sense of apprehension and respect that gives The Man of Steel pause after the young writer had let him wander into a large hall only to discover several life-size statues of heroes and heroines. These are monuments to commemorate and honor the Legionnaires who have fallen in battle. Some of the stone-carved faces are unfamiliar to him, others are not. And like Superman had experienced the shocking deaths of those members he had once known in his younger years, those he had called friends, so had the readers. When Superman finally continues his slow walk through the huge complex that is the new Legion headquarter, he comes upon another set of statues. These are for the Legionnaires who have married each other, most of which have children of their own, as he“ll soon find out when Brainiac 5 appears who offers to fill him in. But looking at all these silent statues, life and death seem to live door to door in this future. Brainiac 5 now shows Superman some of those who are married. There are Ultra Boy and Phantom Girl who tell him that they have moved on from the Legion. They“ve hung up their superhero identities together with their costumes they say, while they introduce him via this video call to their two children. And they are not different from the other members whose statues are on display in the second hall. Everybody has grown up in the in-between years. It seems like everybody has left the Legion behind. The faces Superman glimpses on the screen, one after the other, all have the same expression of self-satisfaction and silent regrets. These were tales of quickly receding hairlines, fading beauty, sagging skin and failed dreams, and the question if you could pay the mortgage on your space condo. Bearded Colossal Boy looks like Charlton Heston. And there is Star Boy, who used to be the jock of the Legion and who got Dream Girl to say yes. He has gone nearly bald, while his wife Nura, who used to be a dream girl, has learned to put on some clothes. Slowly Superman realizes that there is not much left of the Legion of Super-Heroes who have even merged with the oft-ridiculed team of benchwarmers i.e. The Legion of Substitute Heroes. But they are under attack. Somebody is wrecking all their equipment, and they have no clue who is doing all this property damage. And while Brainiac 5, who has picked up pipe smoking to get over his long-time crush on Supergirl, and Cosmic Boy, the new and former leader of the Legion (evidently a man now, one whose membership in the Hair Club for Men had obviously lapsed), seem to have forgotten how to install a hidden surveillance system, suggest that they should do some old school guard duty, they are all relieved that Superman is on the case. He does not need sleep apparently, which makes him the perfect watchdog, and which is why everybody seems so relieved that Kal-El has heeded their call. But then again, the years have been so much kinder to him. But not only this, but Superman figures out who the perpetrator really is and how to defeat him. After a renewed attack everything seems lost though, when the hooded raider not only bitch slaps Brainiac 5 and Timber Wolf around, but then even traps The Man of Steel with Kryptonite. But unbeknownst to the other members, and of course, their attacker, Superman had told Cosmic Man about his suspicions, and secretly they“d traded places. Once the masks came off, not only stood the raider revealed, he was none other than the previously unmentioned twin brother of Ferro Lad, one of those Legionnaires who had given their lives in battle, but without his Superman rubber face-mask, but still wearing Superman“s costume, readers got an idea what The Man of Tomorrow might look like were he not immune to aging. The look was quite jarring, as if premature hair loss was a battle not even Superman could win. But then there was another surprise. Ferro Lad“s twin had harbored some hate for the Legion at first, but quickly he had learned that his brother had chosen to sacrifice himself to save a universe, and the Legionnaires had not forgotten him. But the man, who wore a mask like his late brother Andrew to hide his grotesque visage from the world, both siblings were born as mutants, had fallen under the spell of Saturn Queen, who belonged to The Legion of Super-Villains. The chief members, like their counterparts, had aged less favorably as well. While Cosmic King still had most of his hair, he now looked like some of those former movie stars from the 1930s who popped up on television occasionally in the 1950s, playing a scientist or a medical doctor, or the dad of a teen who ran wild, which would have worked perfectly for him with the generous white temples the villain with the power of magnetism now sported. While Saturn Queen, her once almost too tight costume hanging loosely on her shrunken frame, and her golden mane having lost much of its luster, might as well have stepped right out of 50s sitcom, one on which she played the mom who always knew best, their uncontested leader, Lightning Lord, despite having gone completely gray, now uncannily resembled Sir Ian McKellen in Richard III, pencil mustache and all. And even though it seemed as if the bad guy had made the jump from teenager to senior citizen with no stop in-between, he“d retained his commanding presence. Not only were two-part tales still fairly uncommon at National Comics at this time, the young writer not only had the audacity to continue the tale, but he now opened the purple testament of war between these older heroes and villains. And this story, that saw Superman leaving for his own time, and boy, wasn“t he ever eager to do so, came with a surprising conclusion. The good Legion got beaten soundly, since, very unfairly, the three villains had brought a new super-weapon to bear Brainiac 5 and his pals didn“t have or hadn“t seen coming. While Cosmic King was trepidatiously still hung up about the past, the always confident Lightning Lord assured him: “I“ve already planned our next battle”¦ It can“t fail! The power we have added to our ranks will prevent that!”“ No sooner were his words spoken that he introduced his teammates to their latest members. A masked man and a blonde woman, and both were young and virile. And the combination of the gray-haired villain“s cunning mind and this onslaught of youthful energy proved a winning formula. But then again, there was hope in this brand-new future. Even though you came from a lineage of super-villains, this didn“t mean you couldn“t forge an identity of your own. Thus, these were the descendants of Lex Luthor and Mr. Mxyzptlk who came to rescue the fallen super-heroes. They too had hidden their faces, but for their utter shame: “We feared you wouldn“t accept us if you knew who we were.”“ Accepted they were, as new members of the Adult Legion of Super-Heroes. Shooter ended his tale on a happy note, but readers had seen the future.

And so, had reservist member Lana Lang and when she did, she received a different kind of future shock. One day, while she and her scientist father were cleaning up the research lab of one of Professor Lang“s friends, the pretty teenager came upon a time-viewing machine. And when she chanced a look into the apparatus that supposedly wasn“t working, but did work just fine, the redhead didn“t only see Superboy all grown up now, but to her shock and horror Lana glimpsed the woman this manly version of The Boy of Steel would be romancing in future. That woman was most definitely not an adult version of herself. The future in this tale in Superboy No. 90 (1961) by Jerry Coleman and Al Plastino was not to her liking: “So that“s the hussy who will be Superboy“s sweetheart when he grows up to be Superman! Lois Lane”¦ girl reporter!”“ The screen revealed to her, that when this woman was a teen, she had not lived far away from Smallville. So, Lana got going to check out the future competition, while in her head a plan began taking shape: “I“m going to stop that future from coming true!”“ When she visited the girl“s high school in the town of Pittsdale, she was right on time. Not only was her future rival attending advanced classes for bright students, her teacher was holding an audition for the school“s paper. Lana knew the best way to spoil her chances was by getting her hands on Lois“ contribution for the tryout, then re-write it, but like, really bad: “I“ll rip up her composition and substitute the one I wrote under her name! If she is not selected, she may never become a reporter and if she follows some other career, she may never meet Superman!”“ But fate intervened. The same happened when she tried to get Lois picked for other school projects which had nothing to do with writing for the school paper. Well, either fate or Superboy, whose super-feats coincided with her many schemes and ruined her carefully laid plans, while The Boy of Steel was oblivious to what she was doing. And even scarier, even his dog Krypto got into the act when Lana had even commissioned a famous artist to create a sculpture for her art class which she then submitted under Lois“ name. But alas, since among all the animals she could have picked, she had chosen a cat, a very life-like one at that, it was surely understandable that the super-powered canine thought it was all too real and he simply smashed it. So much for Lois ever going to art school. But not taking the hint, the girl vowed to come back to Pittsdale some other time to try again. However, either Lana had forgotten it, or Jerry Coleman hadn“t read the earlier story, both gals had already met two years prior in Adventure Comics No. 261 (1959), in a tale by Otto Binder and George Papp. In this tale, young Lois had specifically selected a summer camp near Smallville since she figured this was her only chance to meet Superboy. And as destiny would have it, or Otto Binder, both girls shared the same cabin. Of course, Lana quickly revealed to her that Superboy was her friend. And when he showed up soon enough, Lana figured that in his secret identity he had to be among the boys who had their camp on the other side of the lake. It took Lana only little time to involve the girl from out of town in several of her schemes to learn his real name. Lois did not only voice her scruples, though: “Why, Lana! I“m shocked that you“re trying to expose Superboy“s secret identity!”“ She also sneakily foiled the other girl“s plans at every turn without her ever suspecting a thing. But when Superboy promises both girl that he would take them to the camp“s dance, they are on the same page and they both lash out at him. In the end, Lana found solace in the idea that one day she“ll learn Superboy“s real identity for sure, when she was married to him. The latter seemed less appealing to teen Lois, who figured: “What a lonely life that would be, Lana! Married to the busiest man on Earth!”“ But alas, this was not how the life of Lana Lang turned out. In the same year, in Action Comics No. 259, Superman co-creator Jerry Siegel and Al Plastino presented a story in which Superboy travelled to the time in which he was Superman, and not only did he find out what he would be like in some years to come, but he also met a Lana Lang “all grown up into an adult”“. And while the youngster found his adult self to be a bit of a grouch, with Superman bossing him around, it was evident from how Superboy looked at Lana, that the years had been rather unkind to her. Luckily, Superman had imagined this story as part of a nasty Red Kryptonite trip. But soon enough, adult Lana entered their lives for real, and it was Lois who found her. In Superman“s Girl Friend Lois Lane No. 7 (1959), Jerry Coleman and Kurt Schaffenberger had her covering an assignment in the slums of Metropolis, where the pretty reporter saw the girl from Superboy“s past she had met once as a teen: “That“s Lana Lang”¦ Superman“s girl friend when he was a boy in Smallville! Now she“s down and out!”“ Indeed, she was. Lana“s tale was a common one. She had moved to the big city to enter into the workforce as a career girl. But this metropolis of a city had eaten her alive and then some. She had failed and now she was broke, jobless, and she subsided on the handouts from the charity service. Generously, Lois invited her to live with her until Lana was on her own feet again, a favor she was soon to regret. When Lana offered to repay Lois“ kindness with the ring Superboy had once given her, Lois almost gasped: “He gave you a ring?”“ Of course, Lois did what any reasonable woman would do. At night, she snuck into the spare bedroom where Lana was sleeping. For minutes on end, she stood at her bed while studying the other woman“s face: “She so pretty!”“ And on the very next day, when she lamented her fate, Superman had to give her a ring as well. But clearly, she needn“t worry, at least not where her outer appearance was concerned. Though the artist treated her much kinder than Al Plastino, especially considering that Lana had spent several months on poverty row, and she looked very pretty indeed, right in the very next issue, perhaps to assure Lois and readers alike, artist Wayne Boring and specifically inker Stan Kaye weren“t simply up for the challenge, but they ran with it all the way. In the somewhat appropriately tale “Queen for a Day”“ by Robert Bernstein, Clark and Lois board an ocean cruise liner for the annual convention of newspaper writers. Of course, there“s a costume ball and Lois asks her colleague to cosplay as Superman so she can dance with someone who at least looks like The Man of Steel. And he does, on both accounts. Some readers surely had a laugh at Lois for not recognizing that the overly muscular guy in the Superman costume was Superman. But no, the glasses he kept wearing did fool her. But then again, some readers might have been a bit distracted. Lois did some transforming herself. Dressed up as a female version of Mars, the God of War, since Mars was a planet, too, she presented herself in a tight leotard and knee-high leather boots that accentuated her long, naked legs, bracelets and a helmet, of course. Not only was she breathtakingly beautiful, and won the top prize for best costume at the ball, but when she and Clark got lost at sea during an accident while they were on a treasure hunt contest, and they made it to a mysterious island that was inhabited by fierce female warriors, Lois stood out among them. And not only does she become their new queen, but with a magical sword now in her hands, Lois easily could have gotten a new spin-off series, with her having some adventures with this tribe of warrior women, with some assist from Superman, naturally.

Lois was not the only one who got a new gig. Long before Clark or Lois Lane ever considered working in broadcasting, in Action Comics No. 272 (1961), Lana was now an on-camera reporter for a TV network, and even though she could not figure out why every man and hero was falling head over heels for Lois, she even accompanied Superman in her new capacity. When Superman got invited to take part in the Inter-Planetary Super-Olympics in Action Comics No. 304 (1963), in a story by Leo Dorfman with artwork by Curt Swan and George Klein, Lana was right at his side with her hand-held camera. But the comic in which most of her appearances took place, was series named after her rival Lois Lane. And these stories were rather unkind to her. In issue No. 12 (1959), Lana became super-strong, only to be tricked by Lois into performing too many super-stunts until her body became overly muscular. Five issues later, it was Superman who made her into Lana Lang, Superwoman. Clad in her own costume, Lana took to the skies. Judging from the smile on her face, she was allowed to enjoy herself a bit more than usually. But to her utter dismay, soon Superman gave Lois powers as well. And of course, they were trying to upstage each other, causing a lot of destruction. But when both women found that they were compelled to enter the main building of an abandoned mill via a mental command, disaster struck. A massive explosion rocked the wood and stone structure, destroying everything in sight. But since The Man of Steel had bestowed them both with the power of invulnerability, they survived without so much of a scratch. Unbeknownst to them, they were pawns in a game Superman was playing with the machine Brainiac who had planted the bomb and who had also commanded them to this place at this time. Earlier Brainiac had challenged Superman and told him about his plan. Since he had vowed not to save the women, lest the cybernetic man annihilated the whole planet with another bomb, he had granted them superpowers to withstand a targeted assassination attempt by remote detonation. But their powers were temporary. Though the women played nice with each other in the end, and the tale concluded with Lois and Lana standing next to each other in Lois“ apartment looking wistfully at their costumes which now were nothing more than a reminder of what had been, soon they both received superpowers again. In Lois Lane No. 21 (1960), they went for a swim in a magic lake, one which was subsequently destroyed. And back in the costumes Superman had created for them before, this time they really took the fight to the next level. At first by trying to impress Superman. Since they were invulnerable once again, his excuse that he daren“t marry them for fear that one of his many sworn enemies might try to kill them, no longer applied. After he“d told them that he“d soon make up his mind whom he intended to marry, the girls got into a brutal fight with each other, and this time things got physical. While flying high in the air, there was a lot of super-hairpulling and kicking and screaming. To Superman“s relieve, their powers once again wouldn“t last. Then, in issue No. 26 (1961), Jerry Siegel and Kurt Schaffenberger told the story of “The Day Superman Married Lana Lang!”“ The Man of Steel and his boyhood crush tied the knot for real. And once again, to protect her from any act of retaliation from his enemies, he gave Lana superpowers which were to last forever like their marriage. But that was just it. She used her powers responsibly this time around, and she frequently rescued her super-husband when he was exposed to Kryptonite. The mineral didn“t have any effect on her since she was no Kryptonian. And thus, she became a much more effective hero. While the world was thankful it seemed, that now he had such a super-competent wife, he took this revelation hard. It was their marriage that couldn“t last, as she explained to him when she began packing her bags: “I“m leaving you”¦ because I love you! Now that I always have to save you from the effects of Kryptonite, people feel sorry for you! I won“t have people saying Mrs. Superman has to protect her husband!”“ This was of course only an imaginary story, but when only a few months later Lois Lane No. 33 (1962) came to drugstores and supermarkets across the country, readers did wonder what the imagined part was. It very well could have been the way Lana had been portrayed in the former tale. The cover by Swan and Klein, which already conveyed an especially ominous, foreboding tone, felt like it didn“t belong to a fun comic story but a hard-boiled crime fiction paperback of the James M. Cain or Mickey Spillane variation. There was Superman, who asked Lana with a certain desperation behind his eyes: “Lana! Where“s Lois Lane? I haven“t seen her for days!”“ To which Lana, being busy with applying some lipstick, coldly replied: “She“s gone away on vacation”¦ said she wanted to meet some interesting men!”“ Well, there was that. But shunted to the right side of the cover, floating in the air, there was a sickly greenish wraith in form of an exquisitely dressed young woman who was neither seen nor heard by the other characters, only by the shocked readers who couldn“t believe what the woman thought, who was Lois: “Superman, Lana Lang is lying! She“s projected me into the Phantom Zone”¦ and I am trapped here forever!”“ The Phantom Zone. Those words alone spelled dread. This was the inter-dimensional prison of the doomed home of Superman, a barren place, less of substance, but more so of anguish of the soul, to which only the most hardened criminals where exiled, to live as spirits of this netherworld. Could it really be? Had Lana gone off the deep end in her mad competition with Lois for Superman“s affections? Only one way to find out, unless you managed to read the comic at the drugstore. You had to buy the book! However, this story started innocently enough. Swinging Superman had brought his lady friends to his bachelor pad located in the white polar waste of Arctic ice. Safely inside the huge structure, Lois took pictures of the endless array of mementos from his trips to distant planets he presented like a collection of rare records, while Lana, who had brought her hand-held camera, mused eagerly: “These films will be a hit on my TV news show!”“ And Superman had made sure he had a gift for each woman, a brooch with their initials, “made of unusual metals I found in outer space!”“ Once Superman had flown them back to the city, Lana wasted no time to lure Lois to her apartment under false pretenses. Immediately, she brandished the gun she“d stolen from Superman“s Fortress of Solitude, his Phantom Zone Projector. This was when and how Lois“ silent horror show began. She was trapped among the general population of the most secure supermax penitentiary in the known universe. Like in any other prison, the inmates checked out the new arrivals: “Who are these leering being? I can telepathically sense their thoughts!”“ But worst of all, Lois lost track of time while she could still observe her former world: “Hours”¦ days”¦ a week are now all the same to me! Time no longer has any meaning!”“ But to Lana it still had. And she was not done yet. Soon she let herself get lowered to the deepest depth of the ocean in a suit for deep sea diving, to allegedly shoot a television special. In reality, Lana sought out “Lori Lemaris, the mermaid of Atlantis whom Superman once loved!”“ To better be safe than sorry, the red-haired TV journalist banned the unsuspecting woman to the land of phantoms as well. But then, like this was a film noir starring Fred MacMurray, Superman did realize that he had been played for a fool when he spied Lois“ expensive fur coat in Lana“s closet. If she had married another guy like Lana meanwhile claimed, she wouldn“t have left her coat behind. And if the coat, which she had worn on her trip to his fortress, was in Lana“s apartment, there was only one explanation for it. But Lana didn“t care that he knew. While training the projector on him, she demanded that he“d marry her. But then the hero tricked her into giving up the brooch he had given her. Thus, the spell she“d fallen under was immediately broken. The metal he“d forged this piece of jewelry from, was poisonous to the mind, in that it magnified “the negative traits of people it contacts, making them evil!”“ With the two women released and an explanation for Lana“s erratic behavior identified, all was back to normal for the man who had everything, except peace and quiet. Superman, and perhaps some readers as well, did surely wonder that while it was the strange metal that had made Lana bad, how much of it came from her very own personality when she had committed these heinous acts. Was there no end to this mad rivalry between those two women? With the two opponents so fiercely locked into their bitter feud, he simply had to fear for the worst. Superman knew he had to find a solution to this problem fast.

And that he did in Superman No. 162 (1963). In fact, Superman solved everything. The tale by Dorfman, Swan and Klein begins with the hero getting reprimanded by none other than the tiny people of Kandor, Krypton“s former capital. They“d been living inside a bottle since Brainiac had shrunken them to insect-size when he had stolen the whole city from their world. Superman had yet to deliver a method to get them back to regular size. And he had also failed at finding a cure for Kryptonite as he“d promised. And furthermore, he hadn“t yet eradicated crime from the Earth. Feeling severely chastised by them listing up his many shortcomings, with the Kandorians even setting a timeline of six months for him to deliver on his promises, lest somebody from Kandor“s populace was to be chosen to replace him as superhero, he was sufficiently motivated to use the machine he had been working on. The brain-evolution-machine promised to increase his mental power a hundred times if successful. The catch: the gizmo was powered by each and every variation of Kryptonite. Supergirl offered to take his place, but he“d have none of it. Taking all his bravery and then some, he chanced the risks, with a surprising outcome. Not only did his mind get expanded to its breaking point, he was split into two separate entities. One being sported a completely blue, the other entity an entirely red costume. Under the influence of Red Kryptonite, it had happened to him before, Superman told Kara, but though that change had been temporary and one of the Supermen had turned evil, these side effects no longer applied. Now, with his manpower increased by one and an intellect higher than that of any other being, he (or they) found a solution to every issue at an astonishing pace. After the two Supermen had created a New Krypton and many other wonderful worlds, and when they had even cured criminal tendencies and communism in a fell swoop, they solved the most challenging problem that had haunted him forever, namely how to deal with the love-triangle that involved Lois, Lana and him. It was obvious, really. Superman-Red proposed to Lois, and Superman-Blue to Lana. And then, each loving couple got two kids, a boy and a girl. This was an imaginary tale, of course. The reality was a harsher place. There was only one possible outcome to the Lois-Lana feud. It could only end with one woman killing the other. It happened in Lois Lane No. 99-100 (1970), in a two-parter by Robert Kanigher and Irv Novick. When Lois and Lana are tricked into appearing on a television program at the same time, on which they get riled up by a smarmy host in front of a live audience, this is more than they can handle. Triggered as they already are, they come to blows during an intermission. They even have to be restrained by a group of amused onlookers. Later, after Lois has invited Lana for a ride in her sports car, so they can talk things out among themselves, disaster strikes, or so it appears. Lois loses control over the speeding vehicle on a slippery road right at the moment when she is driving across a bridge. After the car has crashed into the water, only one of the women emerges from the dark river. With her mind having blocked out her memories, another driver offers a wet Lois a ride to a hotel. This is where Superman finds her only an hour later. He flies Lois to the scene of the crash, but this does little to jog her memories. Not even, when to her utmost horror, her car is pulled up and Lana“s body is revealed. Not only does Lois get arrested, but she is charged with murder in the first degree. Too many people it seems, have witnessed their constant bickering. To top it off, Superman proves that she could have saved Lana from the submerged car, to get her to the surface, without any danger to her own life. As the District Attorney begins to prepare her trial, Lois is committed to a women“s penitentiary, where she is issued a striped, surprisingly short-skirted prison garb. Likewise, surprising, when she has a visitor, it is not Superman who comes calling, but Batman, who offers to legally represent her in her court case. It becomes apparent soon enough that she needs all help she can get, since the DA now appoints none other than Superman as a Special Prosecuting Attorney. Since Lois stubbornly refuses to enter a guilty plea, if she loses the trial, she will have to face the death penalty “since it is mandatory in this state!”“ It is her former beau Superman who points right at her when he begins his opening argument: “Lois Lane, I“m going to prove you guilty of the cold-blooded murder of Lana Lang!”“ What a cliffhanger! It only got worse. As Superman fully embraced his new role, he dragged up sordid events from their past. Like that time when bathing in the magical river had given both women superpowers, and they had immediately proceeded to punch each other silly. But Lois had the world“s greatest detective as her counsel. Batman managed to uncover an alien conspiracy that involved android look-alikes of real people condemned to serve as chess pieces on a life-size chess board. And it were those alien gamblers who had switched the real Lana with her android doppelganger before the accident. And he and Superman proved to the jury that the real Lana was alive and well once they had freed her from the aliens“ compound in Death Valley. Nevertheless, only two issues later, the feud between them came to an end. For the next seven years.

In all honesty, it had never been a fair fight between these two. Readers first encountered reporter Lois Lane in Action Comics No. 1 in 1938, the issue that introduced the world to Superman. She was spotted behind a desk and a typewriter at the offices of the newspaper where she and Clark worked, and then in a fashionable evening dress, after finally she had said yes to a date with him. Lana“s first appearance came with Superboy No. 10, twelve years later. Right on the first page readers learned what this young teen was all about who had just moved in next door. She was Superboy“s version of Lois Lane. And she too had no interest in timid Clark Kent other than to put him in the friend zone. Superboy was her ideal. Lana would run after him every waking minute. Though she was both, a teen in Superboy and an adult in Action Comics, Superman and Lois Lane from 1959 on, Lois got her own series in 1958. And not only did the book with her name on the cover last until 1974, it was a massive hit for many years. Even while this almost seems inconceivable today, in the 1960s, her solo title regularly outsold team books like The Justice League of America. Superman“s Girl Friend Lois Lane consistently moved half a million units per month, even on the height of Batmania, when The Caped Crusader finally was able to replace Superman as the top selling book for two years in the annual sales charts. True, Superboy (including Lana Lang as his girl friend) charted a little higher, but this was Lois“ own book. For the year 1968, her title ranked on position 6. By comparison, Wonder Woman made it to position 50. The highest chart entry from Marvel Comics, The Amazing Spider-Man, landed on position 12 (The Fantastic Four made it to 16). And while overall comic books sales were declining fast by the end of the decade, in 1969, Lois Lane still managed to sell nearly 400,000 copies per month. And while Lois was re-invented for a younger, hipper audience, Lana was written out of the Superman Family. She took a trip to Europe. Lois began wearing mini-skirts and thigh-high boots, and she waged a crusade against crime syndicates like The 100 while she teamed-up with a non-super-powered vigilante known as The Rose. And she had an African American girlfriend. And though her series got cancelled, Lois“ solo adventures continued in Superman Family. But whereas Lana was often portrayed as a hanger-on, Lois even got in on the spy-craze of the 70s, almost becoming a super-spy herself, as if she were an American version of the popular British character Modesty Blaise. In Superman Family No. 166 (1974), Lois joined the government organization known as SIA. In this story by Cary Bates and John Rosenberger, which ran for an impressive twenty pages, a scientist is murdered right in front of her eyes while she is on an assignment for WGBS-TV. Even though the secret agent who is there to keep taps on the late botanist, comes across as your typical chauvinist, and he is dismissive of the idea of her helping him with the case, his supervisor thinks overwise. And soon Lois not only gains the respect of the young agent, but she discovers that other than Superman, he considers her an equal. Lois does indeed know how to handle herself and she even discovers the mole in the Secret Intelligence Agency, all while looking fabulous in a mini-dress and knee-high boots. With Lois around, as a beautiful feminist and very much in the zeitgeist, it is easy to see why what the adult version of Lana represented, no longer fit the bill. She was still around as her young self in the adventures of Superboy, but it wasn“t until the world changed to a time of sweaty polyester workplace romance paperbacks, that Superman“s writer Martin Pesko brought her back in Superman No. 317 (1977). Hired by Clark“s boss Morgan Edge as his new co-anchor on the local news, it soon felt like this was the Lana who was still under the spell of the mysterious metal from outer space that had made her evil. This version of the character was not the adult Lana who was simply happy and content to tag along on Superman“s adventures. As readers found out in the next two issues, while the time she had spent in Europe had most certainly made Lana much more attractive, she immediately tried to manipulate both Clark and Lois. And when in issue No. 324 (1978), Titano was spotted, the giant ape with the Kryptonite vision Lois had befriended when he had been a little chimp performing tricks on live television, Lana purposefully mislead Lois to make sure she got the scoop instead. Of course, Superman had to rescue her. And right in the next issue, Lois told her this was not like the old times when she showed her the ring Superman had given her, meaning she was dating Superman, and Lana better lay off. Lana just couldn“t and wouldn“t. It was not in her nature.

But then came the two-parter in which Pesko had Superman destroy Lana in a way that was painful to watch and read. In Superman No. 331 (1979), readers were introduced to a new character. By all intents and purposes, he was a hunk of a man. Broad-shouldered, attractive, with longer, wavy hair, wearing a vest and an open collar silk shirt to show off several golden chains around his neck, he looked like he“d stepped right out of a daytime soap opera. His name was Carl Draper and he was a specialist in designing maximum-security prisons. This was why he had come to Metropolis, a city whose villains were treating any ordinary penitentiary as if it had an open-door policy. Not only had Carl built a new supermax right in Superman“s city, to be unveiled on television the very next day, readers learned that the guy with the body of a jock clearly had the emotional makeup of an emo kid, as his thoughts exhibited an unhealthy obsession with Lana Lang, whose face appeared right on his TV screen. His fixation was one of love and hate, apparently: “I can“t believe how lovely she is”¦ how beautiful a woman she“s become! I only hope I never have to see her again!”“ Speaking of Lana, obviously she couldn“t catch a break at her increasingly toxic work environment. While she tried to make up with Lois for the hundredth time, her rival casually informed her that she had a dinner date with Superman. This also came after Clark had tried to play the women against each other by promising Lana some boeuf bourguignon, a dish, longtime readers hadn“t heard mentioned in a while. It was Lana who showed up at the fully automated prison for a live report. The pushy red-haired news woman callously shoves a dejected looking Draper aside, especially since it is Superman who now makes an appearance to supply some unsolicited improvements to this facility, which currently houses just three of his biggest foes. First, he furnishes the single building with a globe. Then, with utter disregard for structural integrity, he lifts up the entire complex from the mountain top it is situated on. By mounting the supermax on an anti-gravity platform of his own making, it now floats 20,000 feet above the ground like it was one of those British prison ships that lay, among other places, in New York Harbor during the American Revolution and which held more than a thousand prisoners of war each in their dark and dingy hulls. With the media now naming the prison “Superman“s Island”“, the inventor“s humiliation is complete. But still, Superman had one more surprise in store. He gave Draper, who together with his assistant Carl would serve as the only staff, a chain with a pendant that doubled as sender for a distress call only Superman could hear. And with Metallo, Atomic Skull and the Parasite held in one place, there had to be some trouble soon. Especially since every holding cell was controlled by a special power pack that came in the shape of a key. These keys were more than they seemed. “The power packs are a kind of battery, storing up the energy they extract from the prisoners”“, a hooded guy in a gray-white and striped costume explained, who was first seen skulking the premises of the floating prison and who then attacked Lana at her apartment while flying under his own powers. And when The Man of Steel shows up, because of course he does and because this is a trap for him as well, the villain who calls himself The Master Jailer, lets Superman have all his stored up hatred while he taunts him at the same time: “You“ll figure out who I am”¦ and where my power comes from soon enough since you“re always showing off how smart you are! You“ve always been that way”¦ always wanting to be one up on everyone, especially me, ever since we were kids! For 12 years my life has been misery!”“ With that, and with the powers he has stolen from the inmates at the supermax prison, he easily defeats the hero who he now takes prisoner together with Lana. And when Superman comes to, he finds himself locked in a dungeon in the very mountain the prison used to sit on before his involvement. There is a big iron door barring the entrance, and even worse, he hears the voice of the villain over a loudspeaker system. And cameras now record his every movement. Of course, to nobody“s surprise really, The Master Jailer now reveals himself as Carl Draper in front of Lana who is together with him in his control room, only she is imprisoned in an upright glass cage. If this was not enough excitement right there, Superman found out the hard way that this foe, who now also possessed the abilities of The Parasite, had stolen his powers. And while he nearly broke his hand when he smashed his fist against the iron door, the villain promised Lana, that with Superman out of the way, there was nobody standing between him and her any longer.

Carl Draper was one of those guys who are convinced that if the girl they have a crush on was not dating the other guy presently, he and she were destined to be together. If only somehow the other guy would take a hike or disappear otherwise. But that was the adult Carl Draper. While he gloatingly watched on a monitor how the powerless man tried to escape from the dungeon, which contained an intricate maze that promised and escape route at its end, Draper refreshed Lana“s memory. Lana and Carl (and Clark) had grown up together in Smallville. As a chubby, clumsy teen, Carl would have been satisfied with her simply saying hallo to him. But why would lovely Lana ever look at a nerd who was constantly made fun of by his classmates? And there was Superboy. Everybody knew that Lana Lang had a crush on him. And the teenage superhero did more than to just exist. When they were on a class excursion and a rockslide barred the exit from the cave they“d entered, Carl eagerly seized the opportunity to prove his worth to the girl he thought he was in love with. After an hour or so, young Carl had been able to locate another way out. But right at the moment when he wanted to tell his classmates about this alternative route, it was Superboy who freed them. While everybody high-fived the beautiful teenage hero and several kids gave him a knowing pat on his shoulder and back, and Lana nearly swooned with excitement, nobody had even noticed that he had been gone from the group of students for all this time. And though it was obvious that Superboy had not rained on the unpopular kid“s parade on purpose, that The Boy of Steel paid so little attention to what was going on around him, with having super-vision and all, made it even more depressing. When Pesko and artists Curt Swan and Frank Chiaramonte gave this backstory to their latest villain in Superman No. 332 (1979), they had to be aware that many readers would identify with a high school student who was smart, but who was ostracized by his classmates because he wasn“t like the other kids. Sure, Clark Kent was like that. And he never made it past first base with Lana. But there would always be a panel of the bespectacled high schooler in which he turned to the readers with a big, knowing smirk on his attractive face, his perfect skin immune to even the slightest zit. Carl only wished he was this lucky. Instead he now told Lana how, after high school, he had put himself through rigorous physical exercises to not only get in form but to achieve a near-perfect physique like otherwise you only saw in a Charles Atlas ad. But like Batman, he did not stop there. He also trained his mind. Carl studied architecture and he learned all about locks, cages and traps, which came natural to him since he“d spent his adolescence in the confinement that his own body represented when reflected in the eyes of others. He even employed plastic surgery to rid himself of the face the kids in his class had taught him to hate. And now that he was a stud in appearance, he desperately hungered for Lana“s validation: “After all, I“d escaped from the prison built by God himself, hadn“t I?… The prison of my own grotesque body and my own pathetic personality!”“ This sure was heavy stuff, but his mind had snapped along the way. Perhaps there had been one taunt too many during his high school days, or maybe the twelve years of focusing on his transformation from a caterpillar to a multi-colored butterfly had ripped his psyche asunder. All he wanted now was for Lana to love him and for Superman to suffer. Once the hero had made it through the maze and the deadly traps that lay on the way, he was greeted by a powerful electric eye beam that not only rendered the powerless Man of Steel unconscious but robbed him of his memories. The floor of the maze itself was a turntable, and when he pulled a switch on the console in his control room, the ground with Superman on it turned in an angle of one-hundred-eighty degrees, and Superman was back where he had started out, but now without his memories and not knowing that he had just encountered two of one hundred traps Draper had placed within the labyrinth, Draper had named as if this were but the title for an old Star Trek episode. “The Eternity Cage”“, a place for a superman to die in. But luck was on Superman“s side twice as it turned out. When Carl tried to claim his prize and he forced himself on Lana, she grabbed his key chain with the small power packs and threw it into the console to effectively destroy his surveillance equipment. This was just as well since right at this moment an amnesia-stricken Superman discovered the compressed business suit and the horn-rimmed specs in the tiny back pocket of his cape. After he“d put on the suit and looked into the full-length mirror that was part of the maze, he still didn“t recognize himself. But then he saw the insignia on his cape on the ground. Pulling his shirt apart, he saw the same symbol right on his muscular chest. This was when he realized that he was not one man, but two. This was when he remembered. And as luck would have it, or the plot, Lana had not only destroyed the monitor, but by accident, she had short-circuited the surplus power pack which was draining his powers. Seconds later, Superman was back in action and he only needed to hit a rock in the cave to knock out the surprised villain. But Pesko did not end his story just yet. When the hero flew her to a hotel suite, since Lana“s apartment had been destroyed during her abduction, she wasted no time. She had chosen to completely ignore that Lois was the woman in his life, and in that she was not unlike Draper, who had assumed she would love him with Superman out of the picture. Lana was oblivious to how similar her own line of thinking was to Carl“s, whom she denigrated in his absence: “He was like a child”¦ thinking I could love him, just because he loved me, not realizing that you can“t have something just because you want it.”“ All this, while she tried to kiss Superman. But this was the moment when he simply had had enough. Their strenuous relationship, with her trying to figure out his real identity, the way she tried to manipulate him, and how she needed to one-up Lois at every turn. Superman laid it all out in one long rant. This time he had no care if he utterly destroyed Lana: “Do you think I“m blind”¦ or stupid? Do you think I don“t know how you“ve been chasing after me since you returned to Metropolis”¦ pulling those stunts on Lois”¦ In all the time you were in Europe, did you ever write to Clark”¦ or Lois or Pete Ross or any of your friends? You“re a magpie, you see something shiny and you just have to swoop down and grab it”¦ You“re not in love, you“re star-struck! You want reflected glory, what you imagine to be the glamor of being ”˜Mrs. Superman“! And sometimes I think that“s all you ever wanted!”“ The object of her desires was long gone when Lana was still standing at the tall window of her hotel suite. She was seen in four consecutive panels, in a way only sequential art can convey the passing of time. The woman who had loved Superman since when he and she were next door neighbors in the peaceful, white picket fenced town of their youth, their hopes and dreams, slowly began to fall apart. Each panel was similar, and the framing was reminiscent of the glass cage the villain had placed her in. But this here now was a prison of her own making. She let out a scream. She thrust her fists against the window glass. But this time, nobody would hear her. Nor could Lana find a way to short-out the emotions that kept her there. Lana was once the butterfly girl, gliding through the air. Now she was a caterpillar enclosed in a cocoon. Ultimately, the harsh words Superman had for Lana proved one thing. Even though he“d always thought that there was a delineation between his action as The Man of Steel and those of the man he cosplayed as when he put on his ridiculous disguise, there was none. Though the people of Metropolis built statues and monuments in their appreciation of his many fantastic feats and The United Nations made him an honorary member across the globe, and his father had intended for him to be a beacon of light, to show us the way, in his heart, Superman was what we are: human. He didn“t always listen, he was selfish, he failed, and he got angry. He had his moments of doubt and triumph, and still, with one shoulder to the wheel, he carried on with the daily struggle we call life. During the 1970s, we learned what Superman learned: he was truly one of us. It is not because things are easy for him that we feel that he represents hope for us, and he serves as our shining light to guide us, but because things are hard for him as well. His fights and struggles are our fights and struggles. As he fails, so do we. Still, at the end of every day, the man from Krypton will be out there, up in the sky, because there will always be a job for Superman.

Author Profile

Chris Buse (RIP)

A comic book reader since 1972. When he is not reading or writing about the books he loves or is listening to The Twilight Sad, you can find Chris at his consulting company in Germany... drinking damn good coffee. Also a proud member of the ICC (International Comics Collective) Podcast with Al Mega and Dave Elliott.