MOVIE REVIEW: The 15:17 to Paris

The true story of the heroes who stopped a radical from killing everyone on the train from Amsterdam to Paris.Â Instead of telling you the cast list, Director Clint Eastwood made the choice to have the real life heroes play themselves, I’ve to tell you that this film stars the heroes themselves.

First off.Â If I were scoring the bravery of these three Americans who brought down the terrorist who had planned to unleash the 300 plus rounds that he had for his AK47 on the train there would be no doubt that these men would get six out of five.Â They gave no thought of their own safety and along with other passengers controlled the situation and stopped this becoming another European Tragedy at the hands of the cowards of the self called Islamic State.Â If I were to base this on just them for what they did it wouldn’t be a one out of five.Â I have no doubt in them as heroes, I would happily buy them a drink at a bar, and would celebrate them should they come to Ireland.Â I wish that more people were like them.

Now the dreaded HOWEVER!Â I am not judging their humanity, heroics, nor their bravery.Â As with every film I am judging the piece that is in front of me, it’s a dramatisation of the events leading up to the Train Attack.Â So I have to review this film as a drama and nothing else.Â None of the criticism that follows is about the character of the men.Â I will say right off the bat that none of their performances are what they should be, and why should they be, they are not professional actors, they do make Tommy Wiseau’s performance in The Room look like an Oscar Winning role.Â But I don’t fault them for that, they got paid for this, and I don’t blame them.Â But the film suffers from this.Â It would be easy to tell you that the whole bad scoring here falls on their shoulders, but it’s not just the performances, from the professionals to the real people, that is just terrible.Â The lack of drama in the film shows that Clint Eastwood must have just lost the plot entirely with this film.Â How can someone with an impressive list of titles with him in the Directors Chair show us this? How?

Now in his late 80’s you have to think that this might be his last film, and that would be a shame, Grand Torino, Unforgiven, Million Dollar Baby, were all great films, great films among a sea of great films with him at the helm. Personal favourite is Play Misty For Me.

Most of the film is actually like a Travel Channel Documentary of the three friends going around Europe, rather than building tension towards the end.Â So much could have been done, mainly showing how this man with so many weapons planned and executed getting as far as the train, there is nothing about this man until he shows up at the train.

Having the real life Heroes playing themselves could have worked brilliantly in a different film.Â But here it’s painful. I don’t like bashing films, and that’s what I’m bashing, not the real life events and heroism.Â I would not want to watch this film again.Â I want the story of these guys to have me in tears, shouting at the screen as they offer their lives for those around them, they are the best of humanity and should have had a film to celebrate them.Â This isn’t the story of that train trip that is going to point out the true story, this is lazy writing and relying on the gimmick of the heroes, who can’t act, in the film as themselves.Â In telling a true story as a dramatisation you have to obey the one truth, keep the audience entertained and we’ll follow the message.Â Clint, I love you Sir, but please make something good quickly to get the bad taste of this dramatisation out of our mouths.

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