I would think it’s best to start with the positives : Christian Bale cannot be overlooked as one of the finest method actors to ever grace the screen this side of Jared Leto. His portrayal of Gor The Butcher could have did with it’s own standalone film. Bale was once more the sympathetic antagonist (“Vice”, “American Psycho”) who demanded respect on screen even when he was at his worst.
Russell Crowe : can’t go wrong with Russell Crowe. Crowe made a memorable cameo as Zeus and if this sets him up for further appearances in Marvel films (Hercules, hint hint) then I’m all for it.
Now for the glaring issues of “Love and Thunder” that the audience I attended with theater wide could attest to : Taika Waititi just is not a good comedian. He’s not funny, and his jokes translate horribly throughout the writing of this film that I barely heard a peep out of the audience, save for maybe a sight gag or two. Waititi just needs to come to terms that “JoJo Rabbit” was lightning in a bottle and hang it up. He was the weakest link in “Lightyear”, “Free Guy” and whatever kiddie rom-com crap he’ll insert himself into next.
Hemsworth’s Thor is a muscular oaf as always and Natalie Portman almost erased everything I loved about her in Star Wars for reprising her role in “Love and Thunder” as Jane Foster, who couldn’t get any more annoying. Kat Dennings was sorely needed for their little Abbot & Costello act, but she barely got a scene. As was the same with the Guardians of The Galaxy – glossed over and only relegated to the opening of “another classic Thor …” whatever. Waititi had the tools for comedy gold in the Thor toy box and threw them out in the first fifteen minutes like Andy did while moving in “Toy Story 2”.
The digital cities were the best Disney could buy, but the stylized action was comedic. I got tired of Valkyrie being constantly referred to as King when her gender would make her Queen – regardless of her sexual preference, even DC Comics understands this (whattup Amazons!), and the climax suffered from the same problems as “The Dark World” where the audio was insufferably low unless if someone was getting struck by a fist or a weapon. That made my lids heavy, and even when I opened them again, I wasn’t the least bit disappointed because I knew I did not miss much.
I’m glad that Marvel took the time to make Eternity apart of this play, as I enjoyed an iteration of her in A-Force during the second Secret Wars. Any other nods to comic lore was lost on me or was just non-existent since I’d be hard pressed to believe Waititi ever touched a piece of mylar holding a “Journey Into Mystery” while growing up in New Zealand. Should the Incredible Hercules get his own film down the pipeline as teased in the after credits, he’ll do a better job than Thor already by the thought of it.
Cho and Herc on the big screen is an infinite better premise than being took down memory lane of Thor and Jane’s relationship which was essentially an abridged unintended spoof on the superior film “Malcom & Marie” or seeing Matt Damon and some other guy summarize “Thor : Ragnarok” for what was way too long; which surprisingly “Love and Thunder” was not. At a two hour runtime the film is quick, but certainly not painless. With “Wakanda Forever” next down the pipeline maybe (big maybe here) Marvel can regain their entertainment value since their last good production was 2021’s heavily delayed Black Widow.
In any event “Thor: Love and Thunder” is another dud adherent to the quantity over quality formula the Marvel Cinematic Universe catalogue has been using since Joss Whedon’s departure : too busy on focusing on subliminal and not so subtle nods towards feminist and leftist rhetoric while trying it’s hardest to be fun for the kids but at it’s heart is really intended for some of the scariest people in this world : hopeless romantics. The devil knows it’s own and abridging Dio’s legendary “Holy Diver” cut “Rainbow In The Dark” for the closing credits is far from Marvel’s biggest sin in green lighting the release of “Thor : Love And Thunder”.
Score : 1.5/5
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