MOVIE REVIEW: Winnie The Pooh : Blood And Honey #CVReview

Rhys Frake Waterfield has become yet another filmmaker who can barely even stand in Damien Scott Leone’s shadow for the modern horror junkie. I waited several months for Winnie The Pooh Blood & Honey, and though I am glad that the runtime for this film was thoroughly abbreviated so that way I could have the full experience in my rearview, after watching Blood & Honey, I feel shortchanged. Where’s Tigger? Where’s Rabbit? With a small cast filled with a bunch of females with strong jawlines and a Christopher Robinson who’s scenes in this film could be compiled as soft BDSM for Red revenue on XVideos, Blood & Honey stands thin on the big screen. Nearly all of the gory scenes are panned out on or shown through third person, which are sins for horror aficionado’s. The children’s storybook mascot turned slasher joke only is funny for about half of the film and the audio of the background drowns out the dialogue in almost all of the scenes; though to be honest, Blood & Honey‘s dialogue is nothing groundbreaking or even worth hearing. I cannot see any of Waterfield’s cast going forward to star in any other films. The film ended with a tease for Pooh returning in the future, and that idea in itself made my stomach turn more than the alcohol I had to ingest to find the funny side of this shitty film.

Horror films are the butt of the joke in the film industry and Waterfield’s Winnie The Pooh reinforces that idea. It is a good thing that this film was put out in limited release, because anything wider and Blood And Honey would have been the box office bomb that it was obviously designed to be. No amount of British girls getting slashed up in crop tops by some hicks masked up in animatronics could make me say that Winnie The Pooh : Blood & Honey is a good film or even a worthy repurposing of A.A. Milne’s now public domain character.

At this point The Tigger Movie was better by lightyears and I haven’t seen that shit since I was in grade school. At least that didn’t have a random lesbian relationship and some grime (the forefather of the U.S. drill epidemic) music thrown in to seem “cool” to the kids. This is what horror has come to.

Score :
2/5